Rejection, Resilience, and the Power of Community
We were pleased to welcome Lauren Bates-Brownsword (Headingtonian, 2014) as our prizegiving speaker in 2025.
I’m Lauren and I’m a criminal barrister. That means I spend most of my days in court, either prosecuting or defending people accused of crimes. This includes everything from serious violence, drugs, sexual offences and domestic abuse to regulatory hearings for professionals like nurses or doctors.
It’s intense, challenging, sometimes heartbreaking, often frustrating, and occasionally wildly entertaining.
I actually applied to Headington for Year 9, and I didn’t get in. I was told, quite plainly, that my grades were not good enough. I reapplied for Sixth Form and got in, and those two years were the best of my entire schooling.
To be candid, I had a lot of support from my teachers at Headington. Originally, I was not even going to apply for university in the UK, but I was encouraged to and ended up going to UCL.
University was frankly a tough experience. I did not study law. I was not prepared on what I wanted to do. I felt like I was just filling time. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy being in London and all the experience that brought, but I often reflect on it and how I would have done things differently.
Whilst at university I went to a criminal law event which happened to be hosted by Headington. A speech was given by a King’s Counsel barrister, which basically means the best of the best. I heard about what it meant to be a criminal barrister and thought it sounded like an amazing job, but at the same time, it terrified me. It seemed to me that only the best could make it. I remember being told that ‘only the cream will rise to the top’. I sat there and thought there was no way I could ever be good enough or smart enough to do this.
After I finished my undergraduate degree, I decided that I would simply try and see how far I could get, thinking that I would rather try, than look back and regret not having a go.
“Through the Headington alumni network I got my first bit of work experience shadowing a criminal barrister at Oxford Crown Court.”
There I also met another barrister who happened to be the mother of a Headington pupil. She gave me the confidence to apply for the law conversion programme. I remember telling her that I thought only the best could even have a chance at becoming a barrister. When I said to her that I had been told that only ‘the cream rises to the top,’ she laughed and said ‘What, the thick and rich?’. It stuck with me because she reminded me not to count myself out.
During my law conversion I was determined to not make the same mistakes I made during my undergraduate degree. I worked hard and I took on every opportunity that came my way. I met many amazing criminal barristers, some didn’t get great A Level grades, some didn’t do well in their undergraduate degrees. Some attended law school after almost 30 years in another career.
But just when I thought I was finally on track, I hit a major roadblock after law school. The next stage was to do the Bar. Unfortunately, it is a very expensive course and there is no student finance. Getting a scholarship to pay for part of the course is also the golden ticket to signal to chambers that you should get pupillage. Chambers is a place barristers work and pupillage is like a legal apprenticeship – the final step before becoming a full barrister. The problem I had was I struggled to get a scholarship, and I didn’t have the money to do it off my own bat.
I was really devastated and tough on myself. I started to compare myself to my peers and what they were all up to.
But again, the Headington community stepped in. Another Headington parent who happened to teach at my law school, mentioned I should apply to be a paralegal at a criminal law firm in Oxford. There, I met another Headington parent who was a Criminal Barrister who mentored me. He was a barrister and I was a paralegal where I worked with him on a number of cases. He supported me in my job, encouraged me to reapply for a scholarship and gave me a mock interview. I applied again and this time, I got it.
Through that job, I also got real hands-on experience. I got to visit prisons, meet clients, and prepare cases. I learned that it was the human element of criminal law that really drew me in. In hindsight, I realise that job helped set me up for the next steps.
“That year I also finally got pupillage after applying for three years. I thought all the self-doubt, hard work and rejections would all be behind me.”
Unfortunately, that was not completely the case. Pupillage is normally 12 months, mine was 18 months of intense training. Pupillage is like barrister bootcamp with long days, late evenings and being under scrutiny by all the senior barristers all the time. The pressure and anxiety can really get to you. Because after 18 months of hard work, they can decide they don’t even want to keep you.
My first six months were my toughest. When you start as a barrister you have to shadow someone. You go to every case they are involved in. You assist them in any way they need you. I had never been in that situation before where I felt that no matter what I did or how hard I worked, it simply wasn’t good enough.
One day I was hiding in the bathroom, crying and exhausted. The same barrister and Headington parent with whom I had done my first work experience found me. I told her I wanted to quit. She encouraged me to push through as I had already come so far. She reminded me it didn’t matter if I wasn’t kept on after pupillage, I just had to get through it.
I finally got to the end of a gruelling 20 months of pupillage working weekends, evenings, cancelling on friends and family. And at the end of the 20 months… I didn’t get kept on. I felt a mixture of being gutted and relieved. Gutted that I hadn’t managed to turn things around in 20 months, but relieved at the idea of a fresh start.
But again, where one door closes, another opens. I moved to my current chambers, where the pace was faster, the expectations were higher.
I felt like I had come out of the frying pan and into the fire, but I’ve never been more grateful. I was better prepared and surrounded by colleagues who pushed me, encouraged me and supported me. After eight months, I became a full member of chambers.
“What is quite a nice full circle moment is that the first barrister from the Headington event back when I was at university - we’re now in the same chambers together.”
So what did I learn through all of this?
That to be a good barrister – and frankly, good advice for life you need four key things:
1. Integrity
Your reputation matters. That is how you treat people. Are you someone who builds people up? Are you someone that lies? Do you go behind your opponent’s back? As a barrister, your integrity is everything. The criminal bar is small, everyone knows everyone or someone that knows you. One of my mentors used to stress to me you never want to do anything that would undermine your integrity. I think that was good advice.
2. Resilience
Nothing in life will be straight forward. That is just a fact. You can always find a way to muddle your way though.
3. Ambition
But only the kind that lifts others up with you. It makes the journey less lonely. With ambition, you will surprise yourself.
4. Sense of humour
Lastly, a good sense of humour. You’ll need it. I think it goes with resilience.
Not every day is easy. There are rude clients, rude judges, and rude opposing barristers. There are days when the system feels broken, when you lose a case you care deeply about, when the weight of it all feels like too much. But you learn to let it go. You learn to keep showing up. Success isn’t about winning, it’s about doing your best in difficult circumstances.
And throughout this journey, I’ve come back to the Headington community time and time again. Whether it was alumnae, parents, teachers or students – this place has always been a source of support.